Dream Whispers

Every once in a while I have a dream that leaves me unsettled. Not necessarily a bad unsettled, but more a "WTF was that" unsettled. 90 percent of my dreams involve action packed scenes of adventure like being a secret agent or a super hero or protecting or killing someone (morbid I know but im a guy so sue me). These dreams leave me wishing they could come true, that maybe someday ill fight a crazy guy in a Dragonball Z fashion, or will be jumping from rooftop to rooftop chasing down an attempted assassin, or will learn how to control my chakra.....anyway, those dreams are awesome and completely welcome.

Then ill have one of the dreams I had last night. As the content of the dream is of a somewhat personal matter ill leave the details out, but needless to say upon waking up a quiet WTF left my lips. Why do our dreams have a habit of reminding us of things that need to stay buried. Why do they put little ideas in our heads of what was or could be. I know I know, subconscious and all that nonsense but there are sometimes when I just want to say "hey subconscious, go jump off a cliff or something." That little whisper of possibility is all it takes to make you think about things you never would have thought about otherwise. To consider possibilities that shouldn't be considered. I listened to them once and it opened a can of worms for me so why, when I have a dream like I did, do I still consider them? Everyone has those dreams, its just a part of life but given the opportunity to choose the type of dream I'd have before going to sleep I definitely wouldn't choose this one.

To lighten the mood in my own head on the matter I picture a team of people plugging me into a little briefcase and diving 3 levels deep into my psyche manipulating my subconscious. I can only hope, were that the case, that the insanity that is my mind put up a decent defense. Based on the thoughts in my head right now, I dont think they did. Damn you Leonardo Dicaprio.

Oh what a night

As I sit in front of my house listening to my friends play drinking games, I feel myself filled with many different emotions and my mind filled with many different things.
So many different types of people are there. So many different life experiences fill the room. Young, old, wise, foolish, experienced, naive. All present, all sharing in wonderful friendship and fellowship with one another. My father often speaks about how my generation just "hangs out" or "chills" in a way that is borderline negative. As if these seemingly pointless moments aren't going to the memories that we hold onto for the rest of our lives. I love just "hanging out" with these people. They make my heart happy when I'm around them, there's no way that could be negative. The fact of the matter is we are in the last stage of our lives where just hanging out is permissible and has no consequences. Sure you can still hang out as adults, but the things in our lives become more serious from here on out and the ability to have a night to literally just kick back and play a drinking games is fleeting. It won't be long before a late night is 12 o'clock. I dread those times and hope I can fill my remaining time of college with as many nights like to tonight as I can.
My mind then wandered over to matters of the heart. What makes people attracted to someone. Is there some formula for chemistry between two people? There have been times recently when I believed that I'd found the chemistry I was looking for. The peaceful yet exciting chemistry that breeds long term relationships that help define you. Times I felt that maybe this person is someone I could be with and invest in. But with many of those cases there is always something that is in the way. Whether it be red flags of personality traits, different views on important matters, the distance between us, sticky bro code violations, or whatever. Something always stands in the way. Is that the universe saying in a subtle way "hey not this person", or is that more the universe giving me challenge. A challenge of finding something worth fighting for and then actually fighting for them. I suppose some would say if its not worth fighting for its not worth it in the first place. But who's to say that the person I choose would be the right one. It's a struggle every person has to deal with and one I know isn't really worth complaining about, yet I still find myself thinking often of how to fix it. Luckily I know WHAT im looking for now I just have to FIND it. Such is life I suppose.

As the leaves Fall upon us.

Well, its 2:29 in the morning the day the new semester starts. Who knew that a summer could slip by you so quickly. I wont lie, it was probably the best summer of my life. I honestly cant complain about a single thing, not even the 8 oclock class every day of the week.....alright maybe that I'll complain about but other than that it nearly perfect. Met new and amazing people, turned 21 and had an awesome time exploring the nightlife of boone, got a kick ass job at a restaurant I imagine ill be at till I graduate and found inspiration in all kinds of places I never thought inspiration could be found. Not to say that this new semester is going to kick all kinds of ass, because it is. But I figured I'd recap the summer with a top....whatever number of awesome memories I can remember. Here goes (ps no order to this just going as I remember them):

1. Turning 21 (thanks guys who made it an amazing birthday)

2. Watching Fireflies in my old back yard.

3. Watching a countless number of movies

4. Watching almost an entire 4 seasons of Supernatural with Wes

5. Making awesome friends in my first session math class (courtney, duprey)

6. A few of the parties we had at the mountain house

7. Learning the basics of Kung-Fu from an awesome teacher...aka Josh Roten

8. Getting my brother Jonathan back

9. Going camping with said brother and cousin Andrew

10. Going camping with my Mom and Sister in an epic monsoon and having to literally bail out water from the tent like a boat going down.

11. Watching Zombieland probably 8 times over the course of the summer.

12. Doing the Virginia Creeper Trail with my mom

13. An awesome awesome trip up to PA to visit my Dad

14. Having great friends like Crystal come up to visit

15. A short but sweet visit to the lake with the family

16. Amazing trip to the beach with the family

17. Contemplating the complexities of God and universe with my brother (still trying to figure out what to call "IT" haha)

18. A few trips to the dam with friends

19. Working at Macado's in general

20. Re-establishing my love for Pokemon.

21. Just lounging around hanging with Wes and or Josh

22. Renting a few video games that have been on my list for a while

23. Moving into the kick ass new house

24. Getting to know friends I didn't know well better

25. Proving to myself that Math isn't really all that hard if you put your mind to it

26. A few dates scattered here and there haha

27. (Readers Choice)

27 is up for you guys. If we shared an awesome memory and in my late night sleepyness i forgot about it, just respond to the post with it.

Point is, it was a summer I will never forget. I loved it and everyone in it. This year is going to be one of the best of my entire life and I'm actually excited about it starting. Just sad to see such an amazing time end.